I mean really

Yeah, so I have been quite remiss in my postings, and recently someone even asked me if I was still giving stuff away. Yes, my friends, I am still giving away stuff. April just really kicked my ass. And, I haven’t really slept much in about a year now. So, I’m babbling with excuses and blah, blah, blah. My job recently relocated, same job, different building, moving from downtown Pittsburgh to the far away (to me anyway) Moon Township. It’s a big change, and I’m still adjusting. It’s all for the best. But my daily commute has expanded a lot, now including actual driving! And, the job itself is a little bit…MORE. That’s good. It is just taking some getting used to. So that’s the story. And now for more stuff.

DATE: April 5, 2011
ITEM: Old-fashioned magnetic toy
RECIPIENT: S.H.

This is one of those kid toys that I found was much more interesting to the cats. Or maybe it was just my kid. I actually love looking at how that little ball moves around when you hit the big part. Very mysterious! I hope that S.H.’s little girl will be a little bit mesmerized by it, but if not, well, S.H. has dogs.

DATE: April 4, 2011
ITEM: baby clothing hangers
RECIPIENT: S.H.

I think most moms would be happy to get these. I may even end up regretting giving them away and have to buy some for myself one of these days. The thing is that we just use drawers for all the baby clothes. Now, practically speaking, this is far less organized. The clothes get all jumbled up, don’t keep their folds, and, in the end, I think the boy ends up wearing permutations of the same four outfits as long as he fits in them. And it’s hard when he has a growth spurt and no longer fits into the stacks of stuff in the drawers. It drives my husband mad to have to look for clothes when he’s dressing the boy. I try to tell him that there are three other drawers than the one he defaults to, but for some reason that rarely seems to help. We’ve reached a point, though, where our hand me downs have kind of run out. We have a few things that fit right now, but no longer the stacks of onesies and piles of socks. And it’s not just ‘cuz I’ve gotten rid of the extras. So, any readers who’d like to give out hand-me-downs to a boy in the 12-18mo range are encouraged to pass them along!

and speaking of the awesomeness

Let’s take a look at some cupcakes:

DATE: April 3, 2011
ITEM: cupcakes from my rockin’ birthday party
RECIPIENT(S): Sunday night group

Wow, did I have an awesome fortieth birthday party. Everybody who came got completely decked out, the theme was sexy, lots of Victorian era pornography – very, very explicit and a little weird, good company, good conversation, a special out-of-town guest, and even a pinata! What more could you want?

Oh, and I turned forty. Um…wow…really?! How did that happen?

milestones and some jewelry

I’m writing this several weeks late, but the giveaways in this post are at least tangentially related to the big 4-0 birthday I celebrated on March 30th. Turning forty seems like a very big deal to me. I had and am continuing to have a LOT of feelings about attaining this milestone birthday. I really do understand why people reach this age and have a mid-life crisis. Something does make me think, “Really? Half-way through? No way! That’s it? And how did I get here anyway?” And I get why a person might look back and decide it’s time to do some real acting out before she fucking runs out of time.

But, honestly, it all looks good from here. I’m a much happier more connected person than I was ten years ago. I never never thought I would have what I do today, a satisfying (enough) career, a happy marriage, and an amazing baby boy. Things aren’t perfect because they never are, but I’m blessed by my friends and my family and very very grateful for the life I have today.

DATES: March 31, 2011 and April 1, 2011
ITEM: blue bracelets
RECIPIENT: C.C.
CLOTHING ITEMS #18 and 19

I bought these bracelets to go with the outfit I got for my big 4-0 Birthday bash. Unfortunately I have no photos to post of that dress and those boots; you’ll just have to accept that I rocked it hard. The bracelets came pretty close to matching the tights I got to wear with the dress, but a friend lent me some other jewelry that ended up looking better. And, honestly, these bracelets are *perfect* for my friend C.C. I made her a hat once about this color, and it looks really great on her. I’m glad to give them to her because they’ll suit her better than they did me.

DATE: April 2, 2011
ITEM: blue cascading earrings
RECIPIENT: A.W.
CLOTHING ITEM #20

These are lovely, but not quite my thing. They were purchased for the birthday outfit, and I do like a dangling earring, but they are a bit too heavy for my tastes. And, more importantly, I have found that really dangling earrings are just plain hazardous around a grabby baby. Don’t want to get these torn out. A will give them a better home.

baby quickies

I’m procrastinating on writing something else I need to, so I thought I’d return to this much-too-long neglected project. But, that’s why these will be super-quick.

DATE: March 29, 2011
ITEM: Bob the Builder baby book
RECIPIENT: Goodwill, or S.H.

I must admit I went hunting for something to give away and although I previously thought I’d keep this I’ve decided that I’m going to get rid of most of the ‘branded’ books in the baby book collection. Let’s just say it’s a very weak effort to counteract the consumerism that has become modern parenting. This is a reoccurring issue for me; so much about parenting seems to be a giant effort to sell you stuff and getting kids to recognize particular brands is a great way to do this. I don’t really think I’m going to “parent” the brand recognition or consumerism out my kid though. Leading my life in a less consumerist way is probably the only way that can be done. This whole project is a part of that effort. And the boy’s too young to appreciate it….oh, the irony.

DATE: March 28, 2011
ITEM: Sign with Your Baby book
RECIPIENT: S.H.

I admit I would love to have the energy and perseverance to start signing with my little boy. Right now would be the perfect time. He’s just the right age, and he’s given me some indications of that since he recently started pointing and responding to pointing. But, honestly, I’m just a little too tired and overwhelmed by all the other stuff in my life. This is not a complaint, really,….well, except for the part about being tired. My life is just really full, for which I feel very blessed, and trying to add this skill just seems like a little more than I’m willing to do. Besides, I think some rudimentary gesturing communication can happen, and already is. That’s good enough for me.

I have a friend who signed with her baby to great effect. She felt that it helped a lot since the baby can communicate this way long before she or he can speak. And communication really can increase bonding. I’m convinced of that. I guess I’m just lazy. But I’m not worried. Given that he’s growing up in a house of champion talkers, this boy will learn to talk. No question about it.

very behind

Behind on my photo-taking, behind on my giving, behind on a whole host of non-blog giveaway things. Well, the only thing for that is to get started.

DATE: March 27, 2011
ITEM: weird little convertible spoon
RECIPIENT: Goodwill

This goes under the category, “cute, but useless.” A little bug that turns into a spoon – awwww! But, of course, it’s a little on the big side for a baby, awkward for a toddler, pretty breakable – all in all, child stuff fail. So, I’m not giving it to any of my pregnant friends. Perhaps it should be thrown away, but that wouldn’t do me any good. Maybe it will be the perfect thing for some enterprising crafty soul.

DATE: March 26, 2011
ITEM: Steelers’ onesie, 0-3 month size
RECIPIENT: S.B.

Another pregnant woman to receive stuff, S.B. is having a girl, but given that S.B. spent a short time in Pittsburgh her baby is just gonna have to have at least one Steelers’ onesie. And that’s all there is to it.
You may have heard, but Pittsburghers love them Steelers! It’s a serious thing here, crossing all kinds of social circles. Punk fans, geek fans, tattooed fans, old fans, yinzer fans. It’s pretty impossible to resist, even for a sports non-fan like myself. “Resistance is futile.” (you see, I’m a geek fan.)

DATE: March 25, 2011
ITEM: Born Free bottle
RECIPIENT: S.B.

I’m sending this bottle along because we have several, and I have come to think that these a really are the best bottles for feeding. The first time I looked at them, I was totally confused because I got a big ass bag of bottles and nipples and various stuff, different brands all mixed up. I had no idea how to put these together, and when my cousin showed me the Born Free “system” I thought it was just ridiculous, too clever by half. But they grew on me. And with the level one nipple they are good for breast feeding babies at day care, or with dad. So, I thought I’d pass one along to a friend so she can decide if she wants to use them, too. (I didn’t take a picture, though, not sure why. So, I had to steal this one from the website.)

DATE: March 24, 2011
ITEM: Parents Choice Diaper Rash Ointment
RECIPIENT: S.H.

Can’t loose with this, even though I’m giving it away. It was used as part of a baby shower game in the shower that my work colleagues gave me. It was a memory game, I think. Anyway, we’ve gotten hooked on A&D ointment instead, but it seems to me that this should get some use by someone. Though, in fact, I guess I hope that S.H. won’t need it either. But it seems pretty unlikely that a baby will NEVER have diaper rash. I think my boy has been lucky, but I’ve heard it’s also because he’s breast fed — well, mostly, we just started using formula as the last feeding of the day, in a desperate attempt to get more sleep. I understand the worst rash comes with “solid foods”. We probably haven’t seen much of it because the boy has been taking to solids fairly slowly. Whoopee! More talking about baby butts!

DATE: March 23, 2011
ITEM: Car seat pads
RECIPIENT: not sure yet, Goodwill or S.B.

We have another set of these pads. I’ve heard that some hospitals won’t let you take the baby away with these in the car seat, but the nurses at Mercy didn’t complain. I’m not convinced they really do much good, but we keep them anyway. Ah, the joys of momentum.

DATE: March 22, 2011
ITEM: Simple black diaper bag
RECIPIENT: S.B.

This is a good, simply designed functional diaper bag. The reason we don’t use it are also simple. First, it doesn’t easily fit over my husband’s shoulder. Two, we have a funkier and slightly larger bag that we prefer. But, really, it’s a good bag and needs a good home.

miscellanea

DATE: March 21, 2011
ITEM: Trader Joe’s Minestrone Soup
RECIPIENT: Kids+ food drive

I wanted to keep the background in this picture because all the different lines there make for a little 3D to 2D visual distortion. Or, at least it seems so to my sleep-deprived brain. I’m writing this several days after March 21, namely March 26; rather than try to write as if it were another day, I’ll just look back here. This is clumsy, I know. Oh well.

Anyway, on March 23rd, my son’s 9 month birthday my husband and I took the boy for his regular 9-month check up, and I knew, from having taken him in some time earlier on a drop-in appointment for what seemed like a super nasty not-sure-if-he-could-breathe-properly cold that the the pediatricians’ office was doing a food drive for the month of March. So, here’s some food for the drive. I tried to pick stuff that other people might want to eat but that wouldn’t take a lot of preparation because I suspect that people picking up items from a food bank probably don’t have loads of time and energy for cooking. I may be wrong, and I think it would be great if prepared food weren’t such a big part of most people’s diets these days. The big thing that gets me about prepared food like this is the salt level. Sometimes pre-made canned soups have so much salt it makes my heart race. So, I hope that I’m actually helping someone with this donation instead of just contributing to the epidemic of high blood pressure.

DATE: March 20, 2011
ITEM: Stupid expensive hippy-dippy oatmeal cereal for babies
RECIPIENT: Kids+ Food drive

My son just did not find these baby cereals appetizing. I have a nearly-full but opened box of rice cereal that I obviously can’t give to the food drive. I’m hoping I can find some other mother who might have use for it down the road. Anyway, I can understand why he might not like them – bland as bland can be. And, oddly, he’s a baby that doesn’t seem to mind strong tastes any more than he minds other ones. He ate a whole bunch of papadam at an Indian restaurant some time ago, and all the waiters and my dinner companions were amazed that he like these spicy crackers.

On a different note – I hate this ubiquitous design-choice for kid stuff that includes intentional mis-writing of letters. And misspellings. But it is everywhere. I don’t think it’s cute, but maybe I’m just a stick-in-the-mud.

DATE: March 19, 2011
ITEM: China Mieville’s The City & The City
RECIPIENT: J.F.

China Mieville is a total badass. I have written briefly about his book Perdido Street Station. In the end, I absolutely fell for his writing. He has in common with Philip K. Dick an ability to use fantasy and sci-fi to express complex ideas, but, I think, generally has a better command of language than Dick. Also a completely different style, but the comparison is apt in that both write big ideas into the sci-fi genre, but rather than bowing to genre conventions they each skillfully manipulate genre in service to the Idea.

With this book, Mieville mixes his sci-fi sensibility with a little mystery. And, in the end, is “really” writing about nationalism, authority, and identity. Interestingly, the writing style is far more subdued than in the other works I’ve read. I wasn’t as all-fired blown away by this piece, but I still think the author deserves all the positive critical attention he’s getting.

I shared Perdido Street Station with J.F. So, he was the natural recipient of this novel.

DATE: March 18, 2011
ITEM: Medela steam-cleaning bags
RECIPIENT: M.G.

Yet another item for “sanitizing” baby-related stuff. *Sigh.* I get it though, perhaps more than I’ve let anyone believe. You want to prevent anything from harming your baby. But, of course, that’s completely impossible. We just really really really like our illusions of control.

I am still breast-feeding and pumping as well though we’ve started supplementing with formula at night in the hopes that he’ll sleep a little longer with the harder-to-digest stuff in his stomach. With mixed results. I also have to retrain myself for sleep-training. The formula before bed thing seemed to help at first, but the last few days, he’s woken up just a little earlier each night, leading me to be able to sleep fewer uninterrupted hours at a time. Then, he has to be woken up by one of us in the morning to get out the house in time. So, obviously something isn’t right. And I recently read that we ought not to feed right before bed but rather one half hour or more before. Geeze. This parenting stuff is hard.

My little guy got diagnosed with his first ear infection at his 9 month appointment. I must admit to having had several somewhat self-defeating feelings about this. First off, I felt guilty for having waited to bring him until the regularly scheduled appointment. I sort of had an idea that something like this might have been up but let it slide since he never seemed feverish. Secondly, I had a silly competitive feeling because my friends M.K. and A.L. are able to say that their uber-madchen (???) A has never been on antibiotics even though she is already 2 1/2. Totally absurd competitive parenting instinct that I felt stupid for having.

Damn those feelings.

beggars and choosers

DATE: March 17, 2011
ITEM: One dollar
RECIPIENT: Downtown Pittsburgh’s one-legged beggar

I’m usually very unwilling to give to beggars. This is one of those ‘rules’ that I formulated pretty young on probably very spurious reasoning and just continued to adhere to it. I am rarely (though it does happen) angered or annoyed by beggars (I have a thing about begging at bus stops or on the bus itself), but I just don’t give. I give to charities; I give to my friends. I don’t think you could call me stingy or unwilling to recognize that usually very powerful forces are acting on a person who is begging and that these forces are often pitiless and intractable. I do not believe that a beggar can always “pick himself up by the bootstraps” and get a job or social services. So perhaps my not-giving is kind of a habit more than anything else.

Occasionally, something moves me to break this habit. I hate to think that this all due to some position of hegemonic thinking about the ‘worthy poor,’ but, when I reflect on my reasons for giving or not, I have to admit that it probably does. Though I have been known to give a begging drunk spare change because I can see that even if he’s asking me money “for food” he needs another drink just that badly. But, mostly, I give to beggars who seem utterly desperate or destitute, and who don’t piss me off. The man I gave to on this day always has a smile for people and does have an air of some dignity. But, he does have only one leg. And (obviously) problem teeth, and a host of other visible effects of deep long-term poverty. If even some of that is a ruse, I don’t really care. This is a man in need. and he has clearly fallen through the cracks in many ways. So, when I see him (as I often do during my lunch-time walks about town), I try to give.

DATE: March 16, 2011
ITEM: M&Ms
RECIPIENT: L.M., a secretary where I work

On this Thursday, a friend of mine asked me to name my favorite candy. This very likely had to do with my mysterious (to me) upcoming 40th birthday party, but I didn’t ask to make sure ‘cuz I’m not supposed to. I’m happy to let all the details about this party remain secret to me, even if I know it’s happening and even made a point of asking for a 40th birthday party because I feel pretty strongly that I deserve one and that really anybody who makes to the big 4-0 alive and unincarcerated deserves to be recognized for it. And maybe even if she’s incarcerated.

Anyway, I was completely flummoxed by this question. Utterly unable to respond. Every time I thought of one candy, I would think “but do I like it as much as …,” or “oh and there’s….” I could think of candies that are go-to candies for particular situations; the flagging at work candy of choice is usually a Payday, or if the machine at work doesn’t have one, a Snickers. But, honestly, in terms of pure candy enjoyment, these are not the my favorites. As a younger person, I was somewhat addicted to Starburst, and so have probably taken up a very high portion of all the candy I’ve eaten with this one, but I don’t really eat them any more except very occasionally. I was seriously stuck. I could not make this choice.

I talked a bit to L.M. about this ‘problem’ and got her to thinking on this for herself, but she didn’t really have to think long about it at all. “M&Ms are definitely my favorite.” Just goes to show you – taste is a personal thing. De gustibus non est disputandum, and all that. But, I was impressed that she knew this so easily. I went to the store to do some research. I purchased these for her while I was there. (Though, incidentally, it still took me several hours to decide on three, or really four, different choices. And it’s still hard to even think about that category “My Favorite Candy” without getting a bit muddled.) So perhaps this giveaway is almost a cheat since I purchased these in order to give them away. But, I just felt like she would be pleasantly surprised. And she was. This was another lesson in the idea that the smallest, easiest to give things can really make another person happy.

So, what is your favorite candy? Did you have to think about it?

Can’t stop with the baby stuff

Here’s a long post with lots of different baby items. I think that it’s really great that I’m doing this project because all this stuff would end up following me around for god knows how long otherwise. But it’s a given that I’ll probably give up some things that I may regret not having if I have another little one. Again, though, I started this project in part so that I would be able to restrain what I have of a tendency to hoard. I am very prone to get zapped by the “Well this *is* a useful item. I’ll keep it just in case.” I’ve hauled around a lot of stuff without its being unused because of this way of thinking.

And, honestly, I move too often for this. That’s one way I’ve been looking at a lot of the things I’ve given away: “Do I really want to put this in a box and move it somewhere?” So many times the answer is, “no.” One day, perhaps, I will stop moving so often, and this question won’t be a good rule of thumb. For now, it will suffice. I anticipate another move soon-ish (three months to a year) because of changes in my job situation. I’m not thrilled by that. I hate moving. But, moving is painful in the very short term, and an hour long commute is painful for a much longer term. You do what you gotta do.

DATE: March 15, 2011
ITEM: Diaper change organizer
RECIPIENT: M.G.

This is definitely a useful thing that just didn’t/isn’t get(ing) used. (excuse the ham-handed typographical slight-of-hand) I even took it out of its box at one point to try to find a way of using it. It just turns out that it doesn’t ‘work’ with the room with all the diaper-changing accoutrement. My baby furniture is jammed up next to each other on one side of the room, and there’s just no place from which to hang this. Besides, my husband and I just don’t have a terribly organized approach to anything having to do with our boy. We have diapers and lotions and wipes at hand, but they are cluttering up the top of the clothes dresser next to the diaper changing station. So be it. I really hope that M.G. can use this.

DATE: March 14, 2011
ITEM: soft baby book
RECIPIENT: M.G.

I don’t have strong feelings against this book as I have had for others. But, I have several different soft books, and they get pretty limited play as it is because the not-soft books are much more interesting.

DATE: March 13, 2011
ITEM: lion baby socks
RECIPIENT: M.G.

These really are cute, and I may wish I could dress up another (as of yet completely theoretical) baby if I should be so blessed/masochistic/insane. Because I kind of wish these fit the boy. It was still pretty hot when he fit in these, and I really don’t think I ever put them on.

DATE: March 12, 2011
ITEM: baby sandals
RECIPIENT: M.G.

Again, an item possibly worth saving. But I’m getting rid of it because I need to get rid of something. I think that M.G. might actually find these useful, too, and I’m not sure how many opportunities she has to receive hand-me-downs. The thing about baby shoes (which I may have mentioned before) is that they are pretty stupid if you’re thinking about them as shoes qua shoes. But as baby sock containment devices, they work much much better.

DATE: March 11, 2011
ITEM: stack of baby clothes
RECIPIENT: M.G.

Just passing these along to M.G. because I can. Nothing especially bad or good about them. They did, at least, make the original cut of hand-me-downs, apart from the ones that just were too stained or raggedy or just didn’t suit my tastes. So, good enough, it seems.

DATE: March 10, 2011
ITEM: pacifier
RECIPIENT: M.G.

I left this in its packing in attempt to assuage any possible fears about germs. Not that this really works. But whatever. Mr. Awesome never took to the pacifier. I can’t really say I’m horribly disappointed. I might try them again when I start weaning. But then it seems eventually you just have to ween them off that, too. It’s all a matter (I would guess) of trying to minimize the pain of either one of the weaning experiences. Weaning, and its attendant issues, goes into one of the I don’t really know what to do so I’m going to do nothing for now box of my life. Now, that’s a box full of stuff!

Dan Simmons again

As I sit at my desk melting and trying to avoid looking at the collection of stink bugs that have invaded I thought that I should possibly get back to my writing and giving away. I can’t believe how far behind I’ve gotten, and it’s hard to make myself try to catch up. Shame spiral, indeed. However, the only thing to do is to get back on the horse, no?

DATE: March 9, 2011
ITEM: Dan Simmons’ Hyperion
RECIPIENT: my cousin, B.F.

A few posts ago I wrote about Dan Simmons and my current running obsession with him. I regret to say that this one did not float my boat. It might have been the mood I was in, but it just seemed a bit slow. Of course, in all Simmons’ work that I’ve read there’s been some slow points (except, perhaps, for Ilium); so I guess this isn’t completely unprecedented.

In any case, my cousin is a sci-fi fan, and it seems like a good one to pass along to him. You never know when something that doesn’t seem great to you will be exactly the thing for someone else.

More baby stuff

DATE: March 8, 2011
ITEM: Baby Bjorn
RECIPIENT: S.H. and J.H.

I can’t believe how many different mechanisms I received for baby wearing. I think I got a total of three Baby Bjorns, two different Snuglis, and a couple of the other wrappy types of carriers. I was glad to get a selection and be able to figure out what works best. I don’t absolutely love the Bjorns, but they have one thing really going for them, and that is the feeling of the boy being securely attached to my body. When I walk the dog and wear the baby I almost always use a Bjorn because he can face out (he pretty much can’t tolerate the looking inward position any more), and when I bend down to pick up the dog poop I don’t feel like the boy is just gonna fall out of the carrier. As he got heavier, I began to have that sensation with the Moby wrap, which, actually, I like a lot better.

Well, I think it’s good to have a couple of carriers so that both my husband and I can use one without having to adjust the fit all the time because with the Bjorns and the Snuglis fitting is a BIG pain in the ass. So, I’m sending my cousin and his wife one as a second for them. Maybe I’ll send one of those long wrappy things too; I liked those a lot better when the baby was still itty-bitty.

DATE: March 7, 2011
ITEM: Microwave bottle sanitizer
RECIPIENT: S.H. and J.H

I put this on my baby shower list because it was one of those things that everybody seemed to get, and, well, I didn’t know any better. I found the whole baby gift list production activity to be super stressful and freaky, so I didn’t make all the best decisions.

The thing is – none of that stuff needs to be sanitized; it needs to be washed. And, you know, adding any unnecessary extra steps to parenting just seems like a big f***ing drag to me. Even if it is pretty easy. But really, I wash all the bottle and breast pumps stuff well in hot soapy water, and THEN I’m supposed to put it in the microwave, and have to wash ANOTHER thing?! No thanks. It’s not like my boobs are sanitized. It’s not like the bottles STAY sanitized after you remove them from this piece of plastic. I was momentarily taken in by the ever-present aura of germ phobia that pervades modern life, and especially parenting. Well, germs aren’t really all that bad, it seems. Many of us know now that the over-sanitizing of life is actually making for some real problems. At least I think I know that. I’m not bothering with any links to this. It’s true ‘cuz I said so. (See I’m practicing for when the boy gets older.)

I’m phobic about germ phobia. Keep that stupid hand-sanitizer AWAY from me!